Ho ho h... ewww.

Originally uploaded by elston.

I hated Santa when I was that age, too. Why do people do that to their kids? Just skip that developmental stage when Santa freaks the kids out; resume the annoying holiday snapshot opportunity when they're a year older and better able to visualize the sugarplums.

Kids are supposed to mistrust strangers -- especially strange men in the mall who offer to take your picture and give you candy. And want you to sit on their laps. Ewww.

The vanity of trees

Yesterday in the rain I looked up at the tree shielding me from the deluge as I scurried across the parking lot. A pin oak. Its branches were graceful, its leaves beautifully displayed in silhouette against the opaque sky. I was struck in that instant by its beauty, which surprised me because I wasn't in one of those dreamy poetry-reading moods. It was as if I'd recently eaten some Amsterdam space cake or something. (Which I hadn't.) I thought, This tree is beautiful! Then I wondered whether the tree would be gratified in some way by my appreciation, if it could know about it -- assuming that there would be a way for trees to know things. Then I thought, maybe not, maybe visual appearance isn't a souce of pride to trees the way it would be for animals like us. Maybe they'd rather be praised for hardy pollen or something.

Then I thought, What the hell is wrong with me?